I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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