btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize