I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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