I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
