I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
