Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
