Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
