sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
