he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
