You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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