i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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