So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
