I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize