bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
