I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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