guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
