My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
