What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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