she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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