Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
