is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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