It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I understand Curling. That high.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
