WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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