He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
