K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
