I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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