I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
