i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize