Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
