I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
