Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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