i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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