She went from zero to smokin in five shots
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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