He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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