I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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