How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize