my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Actions speak louder than pants.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
