How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dick very happy bro
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
