Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
