Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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