We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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