You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are two peas in an std pod
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
