the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
