...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
