It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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