I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
