everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize