Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
