...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
