Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
