you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
