I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
