I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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