i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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