She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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