i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
