she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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